Google Images Save Lives

While we are by no means a fan of the fluffy email programs that decorate messages with obstructive background images and useless animations, we are also not fans of the basic outlook email system, which is, for lack of a better term, completely fucking boring.

That’s why we here at Taupe Times highly suggest a sprinkling of Google images into your email day!

How to:

  1. Take whatever exhausting, asinine message you were going to send in an effort to demonstrate that you actually produce anything worthwhile for the world, and figure out one to three keywords that describe the theme of your message.
  2. Go to Google images (if you can’t figure this part out, kindly leave our website), and type in your choice keywords.
  3. Averting your eyes from the otherwise disgusting smut that lines the streets of the intertubes, choose the funniest/most apropos image you can find.
  4. Copy and paste it into your email.
  5. Hit send and pray you put the right name in the “To:” field.

One parts lolCat, three parts Whargarblgarblgarbl should yield you a much funnier and job-satisfying day than previously anticipated while dragging yourself into the shower for your morning beer.

As with all of mankind’s greatest inventions, however, you will quickly witness neglect and abuse of the infallible and bountiful Google image system that you have so kindly brought forth to an otherwise creatively barren and nonplused landscape.  Inevitably, one of your grey blobs of a cubical neighbor is going to send out a cat and a dog hugging or a duck in a tutu and label it as “hilarious.”  Please immediately exit your cube, enter their cube, and smack them square in the mouth with a rolled up newspaper and firmly shout, “NO! I said NO!”

Please note: Google imaging is not for cute forwards.  It should be used primarily to highlight or amplify the message already being conveyed in words.

If you play your cards right (and by that we mean not sending out too many boob, poop or violent pictures), you very well might convince your aged management team of the great fun that is involved with Google imaging and will have them joining in and likely ruining the fun.  But, if Taupe Times can bring the joys of Google imaging to just one more person, be it management or not, then we feel we have truly done our job.


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Categories: Asthetics

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