Get Up, Stand Up!

“Come on man! Everyone’s doing it! Just have a seat in this cube here . . . for the rest of your life!”

Readers of Taupe Times know that cubical ergonomics is a pet peeve of ours.  We have suggested in the past that sitting may well be the central cause of all evil and hurt puppies in the world. While we have suggested getting an exercise ball to use as your weapon to thwart the evil gods of sitting, we highly recommend that you take the ergonomic revolution one step further and completely get of your ass all together and do the unthinkable.  That’s right.  Take a fucking stand.

Standing is proven to be the most ergonomically sound thing you can do for your spine, short of lying down (which is a whole other post in and of itself, entitled “Lying Down at Work: How to get fired in thirty minutes or less”).  Standing at your desk will free your body, so that you can stretch and move as needed, which will, in turn, free your mind! But on a more sensible level, standing in your cube will afford you the following benefits:

  1. Increased energy
  2. Increased focus
  3. Increased stamina
  4. The power to take over the world

But where will I put my computer, you ask? Lucky for you, standing has become a hot office trend over the past five years or so, which means you have two choices.  First, you can go online and purchase one of countless prefabricated structures and awe your coworkers with your vertical prowess.  These inventions even go so far as to allow you to run or cycle at your desk, which is pretty much the polar opposite of sitting (and borderline psychotic). Second, if you aren’t Lance Armstrong and don’t have hundreds of dollars to blow on such an item, you can simply fashion your own computer structure out of some boxes (every office is littered with them).  This will allow you to express your creative and engineering sides and will afford you multiple chances to make cheap jokes about the awesomeness of your structure made out of printer paper and old storage bins.

Some key points to make sure that standing works for you:

  1. Keep everything ergonomically sound. Get out your protractor! Dey gonna be sum maths!
  2. Take breaks.  Even though standing is what we were all made to do, it doesn’t supersede the old “everything in moderation” motto.  Make sure you take a seat every hour or so you ambitious bastard you. You’ll still take over the world.  We just know it!
  3. If you are feeble or have any health issues, don’t be stupid about it.  If it hurts, stop. And, of course, consult your doctor before doing anything crazy . . . like standing.
  4. Prepare yourself for an onslaught of equal parts criticism, curiosity and acclaim from your coworkers.  Just as with any social situation where someone dares to step outside of the box, you will almost literally be poked and prodded like an alien, with the most common question being, “Don’t you get tired?” To which you should promptly reply, “I can still sit down” or “Fuck off.”  Stick it out, and you will soon see your standing bravado mimicked throughout the office, making you the trendsetter of your hive.

Stand on standers everywhere! Stand on!!

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Tags: , , , , , ,

Categories: Ergonomics

One Comment on “Get Up, Stand Up!”

  1. Taryn
    March 9, 2012 at 7:08 pm #

    Hi Michael, I’m a long time reader of Taupe Times and I’m convinced standing is the way to enlightenment. I’m leading the evolution in my office.

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